Wondering how to get your ex back?
First, you want to avoid the common mistakes most people make. When hearts haven’t yet healed, people don’t think rationally and they allow emotion to get in the way.
And then, people end up freaking out their exes, and we definitely want to avoid that, don’t we?
Yes, the compulsion to text your ex-boyfriend is very strong! The good news? well, it’s absolutely okay to send text messages to your ex, but not just any type of text.
I’m going to share with you three types of texts to help you win him back.
Of course, sending these texts is just the first part, in order to to get your ex-boyfriend back, you have to actually make him miss you. Which is the second part.
You and your ex broke up a couple of days ago, and your heart hurts very much. You can’t imagine life without him and you don’t want to. So you want to run back and tell him how much you miss him and love him.
As much that you really would want to do that, my advice, don’t do it and take my advice instead.
Under no circumstances should you text him how much you miss him, at least not that soon.
It’s better to not send a text to your ex than to look desperate, trust me on that one, i know better as a man 🙂
I know you want your guy back and he probably knows it too, unless you are the one who broke up. But for now, it doesn’t matter.
First of all, and before you even try one of these tips i will give you, it is very important that you follow the No Contact Rule! meaning you don’t interact with him for 2 – 3 weeks.
As hard as it may be, it is imperative you hold on to this. having a break after a breakup is the best move. whether you get back together with him or not.
During that time, try to do and focus on other things, like friends, family. Work on healing yourself. It might even turn out that, with a bit of time and space, you don’t even want him back after all. So use this time to figure it all out.
If after 2 – 3 weeks, you decide that you still want your ex back, here are some texts messages to send to him that won’t make you look desperate.
1. Reminisce with Your Ex-Boyfriend
One way to make your ex miss you is to remind him of the happy times you’ve had together in the past. After all, things were good while you were together, despite whatever happened to end the relationship. So focus on happy reminders of the past:
You can remind him of all kinds of good times that you have spent together. Like the first you met, an event you attended together, a vacation you enjoyed together or just evenings together on the couch watching movies.
2. Show Your Ex-Boyfriend that you are doing great!
Another good but different strategy when texting your ex to make him miss you is to show him that you have a great social life. You’re getting out, hanging with friends, doing plenty of things. And you want him to know without being blatant about it.
This text serves two purposes: it lets him know you’re not sitting around pining for him…but it also gives you the opportunity to connect with him after not talking for a while. Send a text like this:
“What was the name of that nice bar you told me about? I’m planning an outing for a group of friends.”
You’re not inviting him along. You’re asking for a piece of information…and hopefully, this text opens the door for a longer text conversation. If he’s curious about your outing and asks if he can come, consider it…or suggest you meet for coffee to chat instead. The good thing is that he wants to see you, but tagging along with a large group of friends (particularly if they know you’re broken up) might not be the best reunion channel.
Here’s what the followup to that text might be:
Him: Oh, you mean The Monkeys? Dam… I haven’t been there since last summer.
See how he’s pulling a Reminder Text on you? Now the game is changing and see now how he’ll the one reminding you of the good times that you had together.
But there is one important rule about that strategy, don’t lie or try to contrive some excuse to text him. Really be going out with friends. Otherwise, you might get caught in a web of lies, which would be catastrophic.
3. Ask your ex for advice on something he knows well
Here’s the final type of text you can send to him, and it plays off of the male need to be useful.
Ask some advice about things you know be will be able to help. It will make him feel useful, appreciated for his knowledge and you’ll play to his ego and get a conversation started.
“Hi! I need your expert opinion on what kind of new Fridge I could buy. I’m not sure what to buy and I know you’re good in this kind of stuff”
Immediately he’s feeling pretty good after reading your text because clearly you think he’s an expert at something and you value his opinion. But again: this won’t work if you just dream up something to ask him about that you really don’t care about. So again, don’t lie.
Another common mistake to absolutely avoid is begging and trying to use Pity to get your ex back.
Think about it, if begging worked after a breakup, no one would ever break up with anybody, don’t you think?
And let’s just assume for a second that your ex decides to come back to you because of that, do you really want him/her to be with you out of pity? no, you wouldn’t.
There is a common thread here with each of these texts to send your ex-boyfriend. None of them have to do with your relationship, the reminiscing texts do to some degree, but not completely. They all show that you’re moving on with your life and that you’re doing great.
The irony here is that he’ll want you back because you’re doing so well and are so independent post-relationship.
Nothing is sexier than a woman who can fend for herself without a man. It makes her more attractive. Trust me on that one, I know better as a man 😉
But remember one thing. It is important to learn from mistakes. The key to making things work the second time around is to do things differently. It would be a shame to repeat history, right?