Tips to Learn How to Have a Successful Conversation
You want to become a master of how to talk to men. Maybe you’d settle for just not looking like a deer in the headlights any time some fine man smiles at you.
Maybe you’ve had enough awkward moments that, had you not been frozen and mute, might have actually turned into something, and you’re sick of them.
It’s time to release that smooth, sassy, sexy, confident lady you know you can be.
Are you ready for it?
1: Enjoy the Moment and Be Confident
It is very easy it is to stay in your head when you’re on a date with some hot guy, you can’t find the words, you don’t know what to say, and you are afraid to screw up your chance with him by saying something you shouldn’t.
Why did that happen out of my mouth…
What Should I say?
Well, there is something you have to keep in mind, so the next time you’re struggling with how to talk to men:
Just realize that they’re as nervous as you are, maybe even more, they just don’t show it. He might have checked his watch because he’s amazed you haven’t fallen asleep or walked out on the date yet. He may be struggling with talking to you.
So take a deep breath and relax, being nervous will only bring you to make mistakes, like saying things you shouldn’t.
You are just talking to a man, a person just like you. You don’t have to marry this man. You don’t even have to see him again if you don’t want to. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to get it right and just be yourself!
2: Focus on the Body language
Sometimes it’s not what you say, but what your body says. Body language is a huge component of expressing attraction. So even if you don’t know what to talk about, you can let a guy know by giving him the right body language.
Chief Medical Expert and saludmóvil™ founder, Dr. Joseph Mosquera says leaning toward someone is a great start: “Leaning towards someone, especially squaring off your shoulders for full-on attention is a nonverbal way of telling them you are engaged and interested.”
You can also touch his arm or shoulder and do a little hair flip. Smiling is, of course, one of the best ways to show interest. Smiling shows that you’re happy, so you are communicating to a man that he makes you happy. Score.
3: Keep it Mysterious
Look, most women I know are pretty chatty. Many won’t hesitate to lay out their entire life story within minutes of meeting someone. But if you want to know how to successfully talk to men, hold some things back. Save them for a future conversation.
Why am I telling you this?
First of all, it intrigues him. It gives him something to look forward to knowing, which means he’s going to have to get your number so you can talk again and he can ask you out.
But also, men like information in bite-sized chunks. If you meet a guy at a coffee shop and proceed to tell him that you’re divorced, have a 13-year-old kid, had a breast cancer scare last year, and are looking for a long-term relationship…how many guys do you think will actually be keen to ask you out after that information dump??
Make him wonder about you. Keep him guessing. You’ll seem exotic, and therefore more desirable if you hold some things back.
4: Give him Compliments
Humans are terrible at complimenting in general. Why is it so rare that we do it?
I think women are scared to compliment a guy because it makes them look easy to get, or desperate. But it really doesn’t. You can still be a challenge for him to pursue even if you compliment him. Consider it a way to open up the conversation.
Men and women compliment each other very differently. A man may compliment you on your eyes, your hair, or even your body (though he runs the risk of you considering it harassment, not a compliment). Women often compliment something not physical on a man. It’s safer to comment on his shirt than his eyes and have him know — gasp! — that you’re interested!
Still, whether you’re brave enough to tell him that his eyes are deeper than the ocean or you want to stick to one of the examples above, complimenting a man is a great way to strike up conversation…and boost his ego.
5: Express Your Passions
It doesn’t matter what the thing is, it could be deep sea diving, Tennis, Pilates, reading books. There’s something very attractive about a woman who has passions.
It makes her interesting and attractive as well. A woman without passion sounds very boring in my opinion.
So don’t be shy about expressing your passions to a man. Tell him why you like what you’re into. How you got into it. What you hope to do in the future (maybe go on a fabulous trip to Thailand?).
You never know: telling a guy on a first date that you’re really into hiking could open the door for Date #2: on a hike!
And get him to talk about his passions! You might share some, or he might introduce you to something you know nothing about but would like to.
6: Ask Questions
This is another good way to start a conversation with a man or anyone else for that matter. It’s also useful in the early texts you share if you meet a man through a dating app.
Ask him questions.
It’s that simple. Scientific studies show that people who ask questions, along with follow-up questions, are found more desirable by the individuals they have a conversation with.
So ask about his childhood.
But also show you’re listening by asking follow-up questions.
So you have a pit bull? I love pits! Do you find people are afraid of them? I know they’re gentle but some people are clueless.
Hopefully, if he’s smart, he will also ask you questions so that the conversation isn’t one-sided.
7: Ask Him Questions, his Opinion about things
People love being asked their opinions, especially man. This is a great way to start a conversation with a man that leaves without words.
Let’s say you’re in line at that coffee shop and he orders a flat white. You’ve never had one before, so you ask:
What makes a flat white better than a cappuccino?
Maybe you’re on a first date with a guy you met through a dating app and you’re trying to spark a conversation because you’re both clearly nervous.
So you said you live downtown. I’ve been thinking about moving that way. Do you prefer the east side or the west?
Asking someone’s opinion makes them invested in the conversation. Give it a try and leave a comment below on how this strategy worked for you.
8: Practice, Practice, Practice!
As they say, practice makes perfect. If you’ve been out of the dating game for a while, you may feel rusty in figuring out how to talk to a guy you don’t know or are attracted to. I say don’t overthink it. Just get as much practice as you can.
Get on dating apps — even if they scare you and you aren’t sure you want to meet someone that way — and just start chatting. You’ll meet men from all walks of life, all with different communication styles. You’ll quickly learn what works and what doesn’t. Try out these tips I’ve been offering you, and I guarantee if you put the effort in, you’ll get benefits out.
Then when you’re ready to meet someone face-to-face, you will be more confident at communicating with a man you’re interested in.
9: Don’t Try to Fill the Silence
Especially if you’re nervous, you may try to ensure that there’s never a lull in the conversation. But that’s a mistake. Research shows that men, more than women, value silence.
So if you’re on a date and you’re both taking a bite, it’s okay to chew in silence (way better than the alternative of talking with your mouth full of food!). Smile instead. Or after you tell a story, take a breath and let him have a turn to talk.
Successful interaction with a man involves both of you talking, and that can’t happen if you keep filling the silence with chatter!
Learning how to talk to men isn’t as scary as you thought. And the more you do it, the more confidence you will gain, and the easier it will be to strike up a conversation with a man you find attractive.
Communication is the first step on the road to intimacy. How can you expect to meet your future someone special if you can’t communicate with a possible contender for the role? If you gain confidence in communicating in those early days with a man you want to date, you will lay the foundation for positive communications once it turns into a bona fide relationship. Then you’ll find it easy to talk about your emotions or something that bothers you.