If there is one thing that is constant in any couple, it is Relationship Fights. Where there is love, there will also be fights. Sometimes they will be small squabbles over leaving your socks in the living room, other times, your house could turn into a war zone.
The funny thing is that through these fights, you actually learn how compatible you are as a couple. As we said, fights and disagreements are just part of the package. It is what you do after the fight — to make up to your partner – that truly matters.
Here are some ways in which you can deal with Relationship Fights that have been ruining the peace and serenity of your home:
1. Don’t Magnify the Small Stuff
Sometimes, a small argument can turn into a full-blown fight. One second you are having a disagreement over a small thing and the next your house is a battlefield.
Try to resolve the argument and not let it turn into something bigger. Of course, that does not mean that you do not discuss something you feel strongly about, but do it in a manner that will avoid a fight.
For instance, if your partner is working late, instead of shouting about their late hours, you can voice your concerns in a calm manner.
1. Never Use Abusive Language
Fighting and argument can bring a couple closer to each other – but not when there is abusive language involved.
When you use abusive language with your partner, it somehow sticks and hurts even more than the argument itself. Respect is the key to any relationship. And even during the fight, you should treat your partner with respect, no matter how angry you are.
2. Make Ground Rules
Fights are inevitable in any relationship. So after you have crossed the “big fights” barrier a couple of times, it is time you set ground rules.
No low-blows or doses of sarcasm are allowed in a fight. During an argument, you don’t know what you are saying, and can sometimes end up saying something that you regret later. To avoid that, it is important to have ground rules.
A list of topics that are off-limits during a fight should be made clear, and make sure you stay off those. It could be anything from not interrupting your partner when they are making a point or dragging someone’s mother into the fight – yeah, that one is pretty common.
3. There is no Winner
Fighting with your partner means that you are passionate about your relationship.
There is no winner in an argument, so don’t try to win the fight. If you do, then you might win the fight but lose the battle – your relationship or the love of your partner. And that battle could end up in you two growing further apart from each other.
4. You are on the Same Team
A common thing that most couples forget during a fight is that they are on the same team. They are one unit.
It is not about winning the argument; it is about coming to a decision that is beneficial to both partners. Don’t keep score, you don’t have different cards.
5. Don’t Let it Leave Your House
Your fights with your partner are your personal business, and you should not involve a third party, not even your parents or best friends. You should not share your fights with your friends and neighbors. The problems of your home need to stay behind closed doors, and not out in the open for the world to see.
6. Swallow Your Pride
If you realize that you are wrong in the middle of the argument, don’t continue to argue pointlessly. Swallow your pride and accept your mistake.
Dragging a fight pointlessly will neither help you nor your partner. Know when to concede an argument and apologize.
7. Put Yourself in Your Partner’s Shoes
Most of the times an argument can be resolved if you see where your partner is coming from. Put yourself in your partner’s shoes and think about what you will do if you were in that situation.
Most of the time, that is the thing you need to do to end the fight.
8. Compromising is Also a Way
When you are in a long-term relationship, you know how important it is to compromise, and both partners should be making compromises.
The most obvious solution to any fight is compromising. Instead of dragging the fight for several weeks, compromising can end it then and there.
Compromises don’t mean sacrifices but reaching a middle ground where both partners are comfortable.
9. Apology is Necessary
“I am sorry” is a magic phrase that will end the fight then and there, as long as they are said with sincerity and love.
Put your ego aside and apologize to your partner. An apology does not mean that you are good to go. The real work has just begun.
As the saying goes – “sorry cannot make a dead person alive.”
Once you have apologized for the mistake or misunderstanding, make sure you work hard to never do it again.
10. Forgiveness is the Key
The best thing to do after a fight is to forgive your partner. Holding grudges has never helped anyone. Dragging something from a previous fight will only make matters worse.
When you have made up with your partner, just bury the hatchet then and there and don’t dig it up again in your next fight.
11. Kiss and Make Up
Relationship Fights are not the problem in a couple, it is pretty normal. It means that there is something to fight about – that you are paying attention.
Remember that you love each other. Disagreements and fights are just a hard patch that will pass, and then you will be back to being the gloriously happy couple you once were. Kiss and make up.