What did I do wrong?

Updated on December 12, 2018 in Relationship
2 on December 12, 2018

I recently connected with a man that I had sex with one time before. Things didn’t work out the first time and we didn’t speak for three years.

2 weeks ago, I reconnected with him. We hung out and he was very touchy feely. I was interested, so I asked him if he was interested in being more than friends. He said no, we’re cool we should just be friends. I said ok and was totally cool with it. Next week, I’m over at his place and he is all over me. Touching my body intimately, talking about my body. I was laying on the bed watching tv, and he comes on top of me and starts humping me. He then asks if I would be interested in having sex. I said you haven’t kissed me, and he said that he doesn’t want to kiss me and he won’t. I didn’t know what to make of that so I ended up leaving to think.

The next day, Monday, I figured, ok. I can just have fun and have sex out of it. It’s ok if he doesn’t want to kiss me. So I texted him that I couldn’t stop thinking of his body up against mine and that I wanted him. He responded with a smiley face and that was it. I asked him what the smiley face meant, He replied: “It means I’m smiling”. That was weird. but I was like maybe this is how sex for fun goes. The next day I texted him, when do you get off work. He said he was off work now and was going to drive uber for a bit. I responded ok, he didn’t respond. The next day I heard nothing from him. The day after, I told him I wanted him, he didn’t respond. I double texted with a “haha ok”. He responded with a “haha”. That was it. So at this point, I”m confused, and thinking that I’m pushing for something that’s not there. I’m basically throwing myself at him, and he isn’t that interested in having sex. So I say, ” I should’ve probably listened to you the first time you said you weren’t interested. sorry for pushing the whole sex thing. We’re totally cool as friends! no worries”.

He got super upset with me and now has said that I ruined everything. He now says he doesn’t want to be friends with me, and now has cut me off. I don’t know what I did wrong. I’ve asked him, he refuses to respond. I’ve apologized profusely for whatever it is that I have done, and asked him to talk. He refuses. I’ve told him I value him as a friend and don’t want to lose his friendship. No response.

I feel awful and don’t know what I did. Can someone maybe weigh in? He wasn’t interested in having sex, so I don’t know why he would be mad?

 
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0 on December 12, 2018
You asked him to kiss you. Kissing is something done between lovers, not friends with benefits. Then you asked him what the smiley face meant. You’re behaving like someone wanting a boyfriend. That’s how you made it complicated.
 
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0 on December 12, 2018

Girl…You took it too far! You text him that you couldn’t stop thinking about his body against yours and told him multiple times that you wanted him. It was just way too much. When it’s friends with benefits all you had to say was that you were available and to let you know when he was. The grovelling didn’t help. So no, it’s not what he wanted.

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